On Tuesday we talked about how when we get left out, it can sometimes leave us feeling worthless. Today I'm going to give you three things to remember when you're feeling worthless.
There are many different things that can cause us to feel worthless. People making fun of us, not making a sports team or cheerleading squad or getting a bad grade on a test, or maybe you’ve actually had people tell you that you’re worthless. But whatever your reason for feeling the way you do, you do have worth. When people tell you otherwise, or say things that make you think otherwise, that is Satan using those people to attack you. I’m sure just about everyone reading this has felt worthless some time in their life. But there are some people who feel it more than others, and that’s because Satan knows your weak spot and he’s using it to his advantage. When you’re feeling worthless, here are a few things to remember.
1. Your Worth Comes From God Alone
No person could ever take away the worth that God has given you. No matter what you accomplish or don’t accomplish in life, it doesn’t give you or take away your worth.
2. Your Appearance Doesn’t Define Your Worth
I know some girls that think that if they’re not beautiful in the eyes of their peers, then they’re not worth anything. They think that if they don’t have perfect skin, hair, eyes, teeth, and weight, then they’re worthless. But that’s just not true. As I said above, your worth comes from God alone.
3. You Have A PurposeTo Fulfill
Each and every person on earth has a specific plan for their life. [“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11] That scripture is a promise from God to us that we do have a purpose on this earth. And even if you think you’re not worthy enough to fulfill that purpose, God says that you are worthy enough or else that scripture wouldn’t be in the Bible.
People will try to tell you that you’re worthless. Satan will try his absolute hardest to get you to believe it because he knows that if you believe it, you won’t believe that you can fulfill your Kingdom purpose. Do not let him deceive you. The Bible says that when Satan spouts off lies, he is speaking his native language because all he knows are lies. There is not one ounce of truth in Satan. He is the father of lies and he will do everything in his power to get you to believe his lies. But God’s power is so much stronger than Satan’s. And God has also given us the ability to say no to believing Satan’s lies and to hold on to God’s truth. Don’t allow Satan to deceive you. Trust in God when He says that you do have a purpose, and don’t let others define your worth. Your worth comes from God alone, and nothing and no one could ever take it away.
Have you ever felt left out? I know I have. It's hard when everyone around you is engaging in conversation or activities and you're just there, being ignored. I know the struggle. Some of the thoughts that have flown through my head while being left out are, "They're not talking to me because I'm worthless. I'm not worth their time and energy so they talk to everyone else except me." If you've ever thought that, let me tell you right now that it's not true. Maybe people don't include you because you don't include yourself. I finally realized that the reason people don't talk to me isn't because I'm worthless or boring, it's because I don't engage myself in the conversation. While they talked, I just kinda stood there off to the side having my own little pity party because they were "ignoring me", when all I had to do was go stand beside them and start talking with them. As soon as I realized that, when my friends were having group conversations, I'd go over and make myself a part of the conversation. When I started doing that, guess what? They started talking to me and including me in the conversation! It turns out that my friends aren't jerks who don't want to spend time talking with me. It was all my fault that they didn't talk to me. But just because it worked out that way for me doesn't necessarily mean that it will work out that way for you. You might be asking, "Well what if I do go up and include myself, but they still ignore me?" I can't give you a reason for why they don't talk to you because I don't know them or you. But I can tell you that it's not because you're worthless. No matter how many people include or don't include you, you still have worth. Your worth is not found in things or people. Your worth is found in Jesus alone. He's the One who gave you your worth, and no one can take it away from you. No matter what people tell you, you aren't worthless. On Friday, I'll talk with you more about your worth and feeling worthless. If you're not being included, try to include and see if it changes anything.
I'm starting a series titled "The Struggle Is Real". I'll be writing about the different struggles we as teenage girls go through. Some of the things I'll write about I've already written about, so I'll just re-write them differently.
As we go throughout our daily lives, we're bombarded with images of "perfect women". Our culture is telling us what we have to look like, how we have to dress, and how we have to act. And if we don't measure up to their standards then we're worthless. But how exactly do we know if we measure up? Hollywood has provided us with the answer. The golden ratio is a number (1.62 to be exact) which a certain group claim can be used to measure beauty. This number is used to measure everything from how far apart your eyes are, to how long your head is, to how much space you have between your chin and lips. If you measure really well (basically perfect according to this group), your numbers might hit 10.0. Then you can relax, with the assurance of knowing that you are beautiful. But what if you don't have the "right" numbers? Does that mean you're not pretty? Not at all. The golden ratio is only one way that people determine beauty. Many different people determine beauty in many different ways. There's not a one-size-fits-all mold to what a beautiful woman looks like. God created every woman to look different. He created some with brown eyes, some with green. Some with blonde hair, some with black. Some with white skin, some with brown. Some women are skinnier than others. But just because you look different than the women around you that others are defining as pretty doesn't mean that you're any less beautiful than them. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One person might think someone is pretty while another person thinks they're not. But what people don't realize is that every single person is beautiful. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. The Bible tells us that God created man and woman in His own image and that it was good. It says that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. Just because you don't look like the airbrushed supermodels doesn't mean you're not pretty.
Did you know that throughout the Bible, we're commanded not to fear 365 times? Yet so many people are still afraid. People are afraid of many different things. Afraid of Satan, afraid of dying, afraid of being single for the rest of their lives, afraid of snakes, and a million other things. I just looked at a list of phobias and you could be afraid of literally anything. The only phobias I really have is Ophidiophobia, Taphophobia, and Cynophobia which is the fear of snakes, the fear of being buried alive, and the fear of dogs. But there are some people who have lots more phobias than 3. Some fears, such as my fear of being buried alive, are irrational. But as I said above, the Bible tells us 365 times to not be afraid. So, therefore, all fears are irrational. Yes, there are legitimate fears, but there shouldn't be. Here are my top 5 favorite verses commanding us not to fear.
1. John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
2. Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
3. Psalm 34:4
I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
4. Isaiah 41:13
For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, "Do not fear; I will help you".
5. Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
There are 360 more scriptures about fear, but these are just my favorites. All 5 of these are promises. You don't have to be afraid of anything because God is always there with you. So don't fear.
If you have a boyfriend, or even if you don't and there's just some guy that you like, you might have found yourself thinking "is he the one?" It can be hard to know if your boyfriend or your potential boyfriend is the guy God wants you to marry. Here are a few questions to ask yourself before moving too far into a relationship.
1. Is He A Christian?
This is the most important question you need to ask. If the answer is no, then he is definitely not the one for you. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, [Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?] This verse makes it very clear that we are not to be in a relationship with a non-Christian.
2. Does My Family Support Our Relationship?
God has placed your family in your life for a reason. Yes, they may get on your nerves. A lot. But they can also provide helpful and godly advice; that is, if they're a Christian. If not, then I encourage you to ask your pastor, youth pastor, or mentor if they think you should move further into the relationship. Ask your parents, siblings, mentor, or another godly role model that is involved in your life. Then listen to them. Whatever they tell you will be for your own good.
3. Is Christ the Central Focus Of Our Relationship?
Or is everything about you and him? Do you guys pray together and for each other, do you read the Bible together regularly, serve together, etc? There is nothing wrong with spending time together and talking about yourself and your hopes and dreams for the future, your struggles, and other things in your life. But you and your boyfriend should not be the main focus of your relationship. Jesus should be.
4. Does He Respect My Standards and Boundaries?
A guy who truly cares about you will honor your standards. And he'll have a few of his own, too. If he doesn't respect your boundaries and standards, then he's probably not the one for you.
There isn't a one-size-fits-all mold when it comes to relationships. But if you answered no to any of these questions, then that is a red flag and maybe you shouldn't go any further in this relationship. Also, don't only ask these questions and if you answered yes to all of them just rush right into a relationship. Pray. Seek God wholeheartedly and listen and wait for Him to speak to you. Keep an open heart and mind. Don't be closed off to what the red flags might be saying just because you like the guy.
On Friday I asked the question "what is love?". We looked at 1 Corinthians 13, aka the love chapter, for the answer. [Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8] In case you missed Friday's post, you can read it here. We looked at what love is and does on Friday, so today we're going to be looking at what love is not and what it doesn't do.
When I just looked up the exact definition of proud, some of the synonyms are joyful, delighted, satisfied, and glad. That doesn't sound so bad, does it? What's wrong with being joyful? Nothing. It's perfectly okay to be proud of yourself when, for example, you finish a difficult assignment or test. But pride for the wrong reasons and in the wrong things is sinful. Pride becomes sinful when you start to think that you're so much better than everyone else and that you can do everything on your own. [Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18]
A self-seeking person is always trying to do things that benefit themselves. They don't do things in regard to others. They're only worried about themselves and what they can gain.
3. Easily Angered
If someone is easily angered, that means that they get angry and blow up at the smallest, most insignificant things. If you forget to return their pencil to them and they get really angry at you, then that is not showing love.
4. Dishonor Others
To honor someone means to put them and their needs above your own. If you truly love someone then you will worry about them more than yourself.
5. Keep Records of Wrongs
If you keep a record of wrongs, that basically means that you hold grudges. I know from personal experience, grudges ruin relationships.
6. Delight In Evil
Someone who delights in evil enjoys disobeying God, enjoys disobeying their parents or other authority, they enjoy sinning, etc.
Love never fails. Ever. Even when you go through the toughest times, the people who truly love you will always be there for you.
So I hope this post has encouraged and challenged you to love people the way the Bible commands us to. I know it's not always easy to love everyone unconditionally all the time, but it's what Jesus did and it's what He wants us to do. So even though it's hard sometimes, I know we can do it with God's help.
Hey guys! So a website called Moody Publishers Newsroom sends me free Christian books if I read the books and write an honest review and post it on my blog. So here we go!
A Teen’s Guide To The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman and Paige Haley Drygas is an amazing book. It has truly helped me discover my own love language and it has also helped me to discover the love language of those closest to me. It’s taught me how to love my family better by understanding their language. It gives practical tips on how to discover your love language, how to discover others’ love languages, and how to show love to them when you figure out their language. I knew what my sister’s love language was, but I don’t speak the same language as her so I wasn’t quite sure how to show love to her. But because of this book I now know how I can love her in the way that she needs to be loved even though I don’t speak the same love language as her. The book gives you a list of things you could do to show love to those closest to you based on their love language. There is also a quiz at the back of the book to help you determine your primary love language. I would highly recommend this book to any teen wanting to learn how to better love those closest to them.
What is love? Do you know someone loves you when they hug or kiss you? Or maybe when they give you gifts? Those are ways that people show love to one another, but let's take a look at the Bible's definition of love. You probably know that 1 Corinthians 13 is known as the "love chapter". We're going to be looking specifically at verses 4 through 8. [Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.] We're going to dissect this verse and look at each individual thing that love is and isn't, what love does and doesn't do.
Love is Love is not
Love Does Love Does Not
Rejoice with the truth Dishonor others
Always protects Keep records of wrongs
Always trusts Delight in evil
Always hopes Fail
We'll look at what love is and what it does today, then we'll look at what love is not and does not do on Tuesday.
If you're claiming to love someone, but you're always impatient with them, are you really showing love to them?
Kindness is imperative. You can't say that you love someone but are constantly mean to them, constantly putting them down, and never being nice to them.
3. Rejoices With The Truth
It was a little difficult for me to come up with an explanation for this one, but I finally got it. I believe that when the writer of this chapter said "truth", they were talking about the Bible and doing right by the Bible. So if you love someone, then you'll rejoice with them in their walk with God as they are faithfully following Him.
4. Always Protects
When you love someone and when they love you, you will protect one another. Whether that means physically protecting each other such as when another person attacks one of you, or emotionally protecting them, or protecting their purity, if you love someone, you'll protect them.
5. Always Trusts
You can't have love without trust. If you truly love someone, you'll trust them, and vice versa.
6. Always Hopes
Love never loses hope. Even when it seems like there's no way out, the people who love you will remain hopeful.
7. Always Perseveres
The definition of persevere is: "Continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success." If you love someone and if they love you, then they won't leave when trials arise.
Come back Tuesday and we'll dissect the rest of the verse.
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Have you ever felt pressured to be someone you're not? Pressure to look a certain way, act a certain way, or do certain things? I wrote a post about peer pressure last month, and you can check it out here. But today, I'm not going to necessarily be talking about peer pressure. I'm going to be talking about being yourself, and about taking off your mask. Maybe you wear a figurative mask because you don't think people like the real you. Or maybe it's because you want to be accepted into a certain group and they won't accept you the way you are. So you put on this facade, or mask, so that no one knows the real you. You think, "No one can see through me. Everyone is believing this lie that I'm living." Oh yeah, that too. If you're pretending to be someone you're not, you're living a lie. A big, fat lie. But even if you manage to fool everyone around you, you could never fool God. He knows every single little thing about you. Psalm 139:1 says [Lord, you have examined me and know all about me.] So according to this scripture, God sees right through your fake facade. There is absolutely no point in putting on a fake front to get others to like or accept you. If you have to change who you are to be accepted by a certain group, friend, or guy, then they are not the right people for you. You don't want to get into a group that only accepts you because of who you pretend to be. You want friends and a boyfriend who will truly love and accept you for who you really are, not for your mask. Do not try to change the creation that God made to try to fit in or be liked by people. If they don't like you for who you are, then that's their loss. And you definitely don't have to change who you are for God to accept you. Yes, we're all sinners who don't deserve God's love or acceptance, but as I showed you above, God already knows everything about you. He created you, He created your personality, He created your looks, He created everything about you. If He created you, He'll accept you. Your parents love you for who you are. Your pastor and your youth pastor love you for who you are. Your friends will love you for who you are if they're true friends. When you hear that little voice in your head saying "Hey, you're not good enough. You have to change who you are for people to love and accept you. No one could ever like the real you." That is the devil himself. When you hear him talking to you like that, turn around and put him in his place. Don't listen to him. Don't listen to anyone else who says you have to change who you are. Just be the real you.
My name is Tiana. I'm a 14