I know that many girls my age struggle with their identity. They place their identity in earthly things that will not matter when Judgement Day comes. [The world and it's desires pass away... 1 John 2:17] Here are 3 common places we misplace our identity as teenage girls.
1. Outward Appearance This is quite possibly the number one place where we misplace our identity. [Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 1 Peter 3:3] I don't think this scripture is saying that it's wrong to fix our hair, wear jewelry, or wear cute clothes. I think what it's saying is that we shouldn't focus so much on our outward appearance that we don't worry about our inward appearance. (For more on that, check out my last post). It also implies that we should not place our identity in our outward appearance. Your worth is not found in your beauty. The Bible says that when we get to heaven we will have new bodies, so why place our identity in something that isn't going to last? 2. Relationship Status Another place teenage girls misplace their identity is in their relationships. Whether or not they have a boyfriend. Whether or not they have a best friend, or any friends at all. They think that a boyfriend will give them lasting satisfaction. But the truth is, only God can give you lasting satisfaction. Your best friend or group of friends will move on to college after high school, and so will you. I'm not saying that you won't stay friends with your high school bestie, but there is a chance that you won't. You and your boyfriend may get married, or you may not. Or, it might be God's will for you to be single for the rest of your life. I know that may not seem like a pleasant thought to some of you, but it's all up to God. So there's no point in placing your identity in a relationship that has an equal chance of ending as it does lasting. 3. Talents All your talents are 100% God given. Yes, you practice to become good at what you do, but who gave you the ability to practice? God. Whether it's a sport, an instrument, school, or anything else you're good at, you are not defined by how good you are at a certain sport or activity. You should not place your identity in a sport because of the scripture I wrote above [The world and it's desires pass away... 1 John 2:17] When you get to heaven, how much will all your first place trophies and medals matter? We aren't going to be judged by God based on how many A's we got or how well we are at playing guitar. Our identity is found in Christ alone. Not our beauty, boyfriends, best friends, or talents. Everything in the world will pass away. Everything that is so important to us now will be unimportant when we're in heaven. Don't place your identity in earthly things. Place your identity in Christ.
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Last Tuesday I talked about outer beauty, so today I'm going to talk about inner beauty. People aren't going to only notice your outer beauty. They also notice your inner beauty. Are you displaying the fruit of the Spirit? [But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23] People are gonna know you're a Christian by how you look on the inside. Jesus tells this to His disciples: [Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits. Matthew 7:15-20] If you're wondering what trees have to do with us, the trees represent people. If we don't bear good fruit, the fruit of the Spirit, then we will be cut down from God and be thrown into the fire, which is hell. How many hours do you spend every day making your outside look beautiful? What if we spent that much time every day making our inside look as beautiful as our outside? Think about it this way. When you die, do you want people to say "You know, she was really pretty." Or do you want them to say "You know, she was really loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. I really saw Jesus in that girl." I know that I personally would much rather be remembered for my love of Christ than for my outer beauty. You should want that too. I used to struggle to show the fruits of the Spirit. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle sometimes, I'm far from perfect, but I'm better than I used to be. The thing that helped me to be better at showing Christ through the fruits of the Spirit, was practicing one new fruit every day. For example, today you'll focus on showing love to everyone around you, no matter how unlovable they may seem. That doesn't mean you disregard the other fruits today, it just means that you'll work extra hard to specifically show love. Then Wednesday you'll work on showing both love and joy. Then Thursday you'll work on love, joy, and peace and so on until you go through all nine fruits. If you need to, start over after you go through all the fruits. Keep starting over every nine days until you are able to show all the fruits every day to everyone. I started over several times until I got better. It won't be easy, trust me, but you'll find that it's so worth it when people start seeing the love of Christ in you. I know you can do it. I'm praying for you!
[Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2]
Peer pressure is a big struggle in Christian teens today. Everyone wants to fit in. Everyone wants to be accepted by their peers. But sometimes, in order to be accepted, we are pressured to lower our standards. Sometimes it's easy to know what's right, but knowing what's right and doing what's right are two totally different things. Here are 3 tips to help you battle peer pressure. 1. Know What's Right and Why It's Right It's easy to fall into peer pressure when you don't know what's right. And not only do you have to know what's right, you have to know why it's right. When you refuse to follow the things of this world, have your reason ready for when the questions come. 2. Set Standards When you set standards, you have motivation to not follow the world. Your motivation is that you have a certain standard and you want to achieve that standard. 3. It's Not Worth Losing Your Faith To Fit In With a Certain Crowd [For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? Matthew 16:26] If you have to compromise on your standards to fit in with a crowd, it's not worth it. Just don't do it. Peer pressure may not seem like a big deal in certain situations. You may be pressured to do something seemingly small, but then that choice leads to something bigger which leads to something bigger, and so on and so forth. Don't let others pressure you into doing what you know is wrong. So you look in the mirror and realize that you don't look like the other girls. You're not as skinny as the popular girls, your hair isn't long and voluminous, your skin isn't perfectly clear. The world's standard of beauty is perfection. Therefore, no one fits the standard. Beauty is a matter of opinion. One person might think someone is beautiful, while another thinks they're not-so-beautiful. So how can there be one type of beauty or one standard of beauty? Everyone is made in God's image. Everyone is fearfully and wonderfully made. [I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. Psalm 139:14] Don't pay attention to what the world is saying about beauty. Don't listen to what magazines or celebs are saying you have to look like. You don't have to wear a ton of makeup, you don't have to wear revealing clothing, you don't have to be super skinny. There's nothing wrong with wearing makeup or working out, I do both of those things. But don't think that you have to do those things to be beautiful. If you have to change the way you look to fit in with a certain crowd or to be noticed by a certain guy, it's not worth it. God cares about you, loves you, and accepts you no matter what you look like. After all, he created you. Your beauty does not define your worth. No matter what the world tries to tell you, your worth doesn't increase the more beautiful you are. When it comes to beauty and looks, people always want what they don't have. If they have straight hair, they want curly. If they have white skin, they want brown. If they have brown eyes, they want green. etc. etc. My dad and his side of the family are from Hawaii so I have brown skin. Everyone always tells me "Oh my gosh your skin is so beautiful I wish my skin was your color". We need to learn to be happy with the skin, hair, and eye color that God gave us. I know that many of you reading this feel like you would be prettier if certain parts of you looked different. I don't want you to feel alone in this, so I'm going to go ahead and let you know that I sometimes struggle with this too. Sometimes I find myself wishing I had green eyes instead of brown, wishing I had blonde hair instead of brown. I used to wish I had white skin instead of brown, but I've gotten so many compliments on my skin color that I've learned to be happy that I have brown skin. So you are not alone in this. But you have to know that God created you exactly how he wanted you to look. If he had wanted you to have different colored hair, skin, or eyes, or if he had wanted you to be skinnier, he would have done it. But he didn't. He has a reason for creating you the way he did. So don't worry about what the world is saying about beauty or about what you're "supposed to" look like. Trust me, he knew what he was doing when he created you the way he did.
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MissionIn short, I started this blog because I want to give girls all over the world hope. All of the topics I write about on this blog are things that I have struggled with or am still struggling with. I want to help young women everywhere achieve freedom through Christ. Archives
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