Today, I decided to tell you guys my story. I know that I've shared bits and pieces of my story, but I wanted to write out the whole thing at one time.
About 2 years ago, I found myself looking into the mirror every day and desperately wishing that I looked different. My dad and his side of the family are from Hawaii so they all have dark hair, brown eyes, and brown skin. My mom is white with green eyes and red hair. I look like my dad. Brown eyes, brown hair, and brown skin. I wished every day that I looked more like my mom. One of my friends also had red hair, so that made me wish that I had red hair even more. I’m also not the skinniest girl out there. I was constantly comparing myself to every other girl around me. Wishing I had their hair. Wishing I had their skin color. Wishing I had their weight. I kept letting Satan tell me that I had no worth because I didn’t look like the “other girls”. I let him convince me that he was right. I told myself every day, “Tiana, you’re ugly. You’re fat. You’re worthless.” And I believed it more every time I said it. I didn’t realize that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I didn't realize that God created me exactly the way He wanted me to look. I didn’t realize it until I went to winter camp with my youth group last November. One of my friends came up to me and started talking to me —keep in mind that I’d never talked to her about any of my beauty struggles— she told me, “I know you’re struggling with your body image. I just really feel like I should tell you that you are beautiful. I know you’ve been hearing that a lot, so I know you probably won’t believe me. But you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God created you exactly how He wanted you to look.” And for some reason, when she said it, I believed it. Even though I had my other friends and my youth pastor telling me the exact same thing, I never believed it until she said it. And I am so glad that I believed it. After that weekend at camp, it wasn’t easy to stop comparing myself to other girls. It took a lot of hard work and prayer. Lots and lots of prayer. Every time I looked into the mirror I’d hear Satan’s voice in the back of my head saying, “You’re ugly, remember?” But every time he told me that, I’d just turn around and tell him, “No, I’m a fearfully and wonderfully made child of God, remember?” There were a few steps that I took to ensure that I wouldn’t fall back into Satan’s trap of lies again. First, I started praying on my own. Like really praying. I didn’t want to go back to believing that I was worthless. The next thing I did was go to my friends and youth pastor, tell them what was going on, and ask them to keep me in their prayers. They promised that they’d pray for me. Then I copied Psalm 139:14 on a bunch of strips of paper and hung them all over my house. I hung them on my bedroom ceiling over my bed so it’d be the first thing I saw when I woke up every morning (I have a bunk bed and I sleep on the top so I’m really close to the ceiling ;). I hung them on every single mirror in my house. I stuck them on all my school notebooks. Everywhere I turned, there was the scripture. I read them all throughout the day and just like how the more I told myself that I was ugly I believed it, the more I read the scripture I believed it. Every time I saw a girl that everyone thought was pretty, my first reaction was to compare myself to her. But then I’d stop myself and repeat the scripture over and over and over again to myself until I stopped the comparison. Now, 2 years later, I don’t compare myself hardly at all. I still sometimes compare myself to other girls, but it has become a whole lot easier to stop. I got the inspiration to start my blog when one of my friends started telling me about all her beauty insecurities. How she compared herself to every pretty girl she saw. How she cried herself to sleep because she thought she was worthless and ugly. And then another friend told me that she was going through the same thing. I told them how I used to go through the same exact thing, and I told them everything that I just told you. Then I realized that me and my 2 friends weren’t the only girls who felt that way. There were thousands of girls who feel like they aren’t beautiful, or feel worthless. And when I came to that realization it broke me. I realized that I had to do something about it. I wanted a way to help end the beauty insecurities in the girls around me. I just didn’t know how. So I prayed. I told God that I wanted to help other girls overcome their beauty struggles like I did. That night, I had a dream that I started a blog and in the dream I had girls from all across the world messaging me online and telling me that through my blog they were able to overcome their beauty insecurities. I woke up and God said, “That’s what I want you to do.” So I said, “Okay God, I’ll do it.” I got to work writing my first posts and that night I got on my computer and signed up for a website and set the whole thing up. Then I came across a problem. I had the website set up. I had my first posts. What I didn’t have was a name for my blog. I started praying that God would tell me what He wanted me to name the blog. Out of nowhere, I had a sudden urge to open my Bible. So I grabbed my Bible and just randomly flipped it open and I saw that the book and chapter I had flipped to was Psalm 139. And there in the middle of the page was Psalm 139:14 highlighted in bright pink highlighter from the night at winter camp when my friend talked to me. “Of course,” I thought, “the scripture that started it all.” I asked God, “Is this what you want me to name it?” He said “Yep. Fearfully and Wonderfully Made.” Couldn’t have thought of a better name myself. Don’t give Satan the satisfaction of knowing that you believe the lie that you’re ugly, too fat, too skinny, too dark, too light, or not worthy. You are perfect exactly the way you are because God made you that way. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
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How many times a day do you eat? Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, plus snacks throughout the day. As soon as we get hungry, or sometimes even before we get hungry, we eat. Especially as teenagers, there's always one thing on our mind: food. But what if we thought about the Bread of Life as much as or more than we think about food? For those of you who don't know what the Bread of Life is, this scripture is for you: [Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. John 6:35]. Jesus is the Bread of Life. He gives our spirit lasting satisfaction, while our physical body has to eat again and again and again to continue to be satisfied. So just like you wake up in the morning and eat breakfast, it's important to wake up and eat of the Bread of Life. Here are 3 reasons why I like spending time with God first thing in the morning.
1. I Feel Like I'm Starting My Day Right Some people have to wake up and exercise to feel like they're starting their day right. With other people, it may be other things. With me, it's spending time with God. If I don't read my Bible, pray, and read my devotional before I do anything else, I feel like I'm not starting my day the way I should. In my mind, God is first in my life, so He should be first every day. 2. It Gives Me Joy For The Day When I spend time with God first thing in the morning, it gives me joy for the day. I always feel happy when I'm reading the Bible. When I start my day off with scriptures, I'm happy for the whole day, not just while I'm reading. 3. I'm Able To Practice What I Learned I always learn something every time I read the Bible. No matter what book or chapter I'm reading in, I'm always able to apply it to my life in some way or another. Whenever I read something in the Bible, I get excited about living it out. I know it might seem dumb to some people, but I like reading in the mornings so that when God reveals something to me through His Word or when I learn something new, I'm able to practice living it out all day. I hope this post has challenged you to start waking up earlier in order to spend time with God first thing in the morning. Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough? Maybe you didn't feel like you were good enough to join a sports team, or something else along those lines. Or maybe you don't feel like you're good enough to have a boyfriend or a friend. Or maybe you're like I used to be, and you feel like you're not good enough for God. You don't think that He could possibly love you, or that He could possibly care about you (for more on that, check out this post here). Here are 3 things to show you that you are enough for God's love.
1. He Sent His Only Son To Die For You [For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16] God loved you so much that He sent His only son, Jesus, to die a sinner's death even though He was perfect, just so you could have a personal relationship with Him. 2. Once You Ask For Forgiveness, You're A New Person [Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17] When you get saved, you don't have to worry about your past making you not good enough for God. 2 Corinthians tells us that if we're in Christ, we are a new creation. The old is gone. We don't have to worry about it anymore. 3. God Forgets Our Sins [And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins. Hebrews 8:12] We can be sure that we're good enough for God because as soon as we ask for forgiveness, God doesn't even remember our sins. You might still remember them, but God doesn't. Satan will do everything in his power to make you think that because of what you did in the past, you're not worthy of God's love. Don't listen to him. The Bible says that He's the father of lies [...When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44]. Don't believe his lies when he tells you that you're not good enough for God. You probably have a friend or two who isn't saved. Matthew 16:15 says [He said to them: "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation."] so you know that you're supposed to minister to them, but how? Here are 3 ways you can minister to your non-Christian friends.
1. Walk The Talk The best way to witness to someone is to live it out. If you're living the life of a Christian, your friends will get curious as to why you're not following the crowd in doing certain things, or why you have love, joy, peace, and the rest of the fruits of the Spirit. When they ask you about it, explain to them what Christ did for them and what a Christian is. 2. Tell Your Story Another way to witness to someone is by sharing your own story of salvation. They will probably be more open to listening to you if you start out by explaining what Jesus did for you and how He changed you. This is a very effective way to minister especially if the person knew you before you were saved. They'll more than likely be wondering why you aren't the same as you used to be or why you don't the same things you used to do. 3. Talk With Them This is probably the most common way people witness to other people. Invite your friend to coffee or somewhere else where you can sit and talk for awhile. It might be best to start with your story like we talked about above. If you don't want to start with your story, or if you're like me and grew up in a Christian family and didn't really have a past before you were saved, you can start by explaining about how sin entered into the world because of Adam and Eve, then move on to how we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, then explain what Jesus did on the cross and how we can now be forgiven for our sins and go to heaven when we die. I'll include a few scriptures that you can use when ministering to your friends. Genesis 3:1-24 John 14:6 John 11:25-26 Romans 3:23 Isaiah 59:2 Romans 6:23 Ephesians 2:8-9 John 3:16 Acts 16:31 John 3:36 Have you ever felt like you were missing something? Like your phone, for example. You leave the store and reach your hand into your pocket to grab your phone, only it's not there. You get this sinking feeling in your stomach and you feel like you're going to throw up. At least that's what it's been like in my experience. Then you get into the car and realize that you left it on your seat when you went into the store. It's a bad feeling when we realize we're missing something we know we should have. There's one really important thing that so many of you are missing, but you don't even realize it. Or maybe you do realize it, but you don't want to do anything about it. Maybe it's because you're worried about what other people will think, or maybe you just "don't have time" to find what you're missing. You might have already figured out what missing thing I'm talking about but just in case you haven't, I'm talking about Jesus. When you realize you're missing something that's important to you, like your phone, wallet, or keys, you do everything you can to find it. But when you're missing the most important thing you could ever have, a relationship with Jesus Christ, you don't do anything to find it. There's another perspective to look at. What if you don't know what you're missing? You might know that you are missing something, but you can't figure out what it is until you need it. Like the time my family and I went on a camping trip and most of the food we brought was canned. We got to the campground and my mom said that she felt like she had forgotten something, but she couldn't think of what it was. She figured it out that night when we were ready to eat dinner. She had forgotten the can opener (but I had seen it on the kitchen counter before we left and put it in one of our bags, I just didn't tell her until she started freaking out a little bit). You don't know what you're missing, you just know that you don't feel like you have anyone who loves you, or you're always depressed, or you can't find a reason to live. Maybe you keep getting into relationships with different guys because you're trying to find someone or something to fill that hole inside. But I'm here to tell you that the hole inside of you isn't a one size fits all hole. The only thing that could fit into that hole is Jesus. Nothing more and nothing less. He truly loves and cares about you. I mean, He was a perfect man who died a sinner's death, just for you. Nothing else in this world could truly satisfy the space in your life made for Jesus and Jesus alone. Isaiah 58:11 says [And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire...]. Jesus is always waiting for you to find Him. He's standing there with His arms spread wide just waiting for you to figure out that he's the one you've been missing. He'll never turn you down and He'll always love you and be there for you. You don't have to have that sinking feeling in your stomach anymore. Jesus is the one you're missing. He's waiting for you to find Him.
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MissionIn short, I started this blog because I want to give girls all over the world hope. All of the topics I write about on this blog are things that I have struggled with or am still struggling with. I want to help young women everywhere achieve freedom through Christ. Archives
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