For my birthday last year, my big sister, Leah, gave me the book Unoffendable by Brant Hanson. Except I lost it, so I never read it. Until I found it about two weeks ago while I was decluttering my closet. No idea how it ended up in there, but it did. Anyways, I found the book, so I started reading it. I just finished it last night. And wow. Hanson introduces the radical idea that we can just decide to not be offended by things people say and do. I’ll be honest: by the time I read the first two paragraphs, I had already decided that he was crazy. But I decided to stick it out and read the whole book anyways. That was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made all year. I highly recommend you read the book, but just in case you can’t, I’ll sum it up for you. The book is basically saying that we have no right to be angry (crazy, right?). But the more I read, the more I realized that he was right. Through scriptures and anecdotes from his own life, Hanson proves several statements to be true: we can decide to be unoffendable; we have no right to anger; we there is no such thing as “righteous anger”; when we become offended, we’re removing our trust from God; and God’s love and mercy for us is unconditional. I know it’s a crazy idea, but it makes sense. So today, I’m going to give you eight scriptures that disprove your (in Brant’s words) Made Up Right To Anger.
1. James 1:20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Honestly, I could stop here having proven my point. If something isn’t righteous in God’s eyes, we shouldn’t do it. Simple as that. But for those of you who aren’t convinced, here’s another scripture. 2. Proverbs 29:11 Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. This verse is also very simple and straightforward. Giving in to your anger makes you a fool. You could argue that you do, in fact, have a right to be angry. And I would say, “Sure you do. That is, if you want to be a fool in God’s eyes.” I don’t know anyone who would want to be anything less than wise. Letting go of your anger is the first step to wisdom. 3. Proverbs 19:11 …it is one’s glory to overlook an offense. Overlooking an offense will bring glory. Not defending yourself; not Gettin angry; not lashing out in that anger. None of those things bring glory to God. There’s more on “overlooking offenses” in the next scripture. 4. Matthew 5:39 But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. I realize that this isn’t a very appealing thought. Retaliation and revenge are programmed into our brains from society. But this is not what God wants. If someone wrongs you, God wants you to, instead of “getting them back”, give them another chance. 5. Psalm 37:8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath… This one needs no explanation. 6. Matthew 5:22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgement. I can only speak for myself here, but I know that I would much rather deal with my anger and become unoffendable right now, than have to answer to God for it on Judgement Day. But that’s just me. 7. Proverbs 22:24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Not only does God not want us to be angry, he doesn’t even want us to be associated with angry people. That says a lot to me about God’s thoughts on anger and revenge. 8. Colossians 3:8 But now you must also rid yourself of all such things as these: anger, rage… Get rid of it. Completely. Don’t hold onto your anger for people who “deserve it”. Don’t hang onto it and lash out at people wen they wrong you. Let it go. I know this whole idea of being unoffendable and turning the other cheek is pretty radical. But I truly believe that it’s what God wants. And I would much rather follow God’s will for my life than do my own thing.
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Continuing our Identity Crisis series, I’d like to talk about popularity. A lot of teenagers make it a priority to be popular. We want to have lots of friends. We want to be invited to all the parties. We want to have the most likes and comments on our social media posts. Those things become so important to us as high schoolers, that we can begin to place our identity in it. I’m not the popular kid in school. I would say that I’ve always been “well-known”, but never popular. A lot of people know my name, and I get invited to several of the popular kids’ parties, but not all of them. And you know what? That’s okay. Because there’s only one friend we need. Jesus. The Bible says that He calls us friend. Imagine that! The creator of the universe wants to be friends with us. Jesus came down to earth to die a sinner’s death just so he could have a relationship with us. And honestly, a lot of us are throwing that gift away.
We become so consumed with wanting to be friends with the world that we lose focus of Christ. We say that we’re too busy to spend time with God, but we’re never too busy to FaceTime our best friend. And I’m not trying to call anyone out; I’m just as guilty when it comes to this. The Bible is very clear on a few things: we’re not to be friends with the world, and Jesus is the only friend we need. I want to be clear that I’m not saying there’s anything against having friends. We can be friends with people. We just need to be sure that we’re not going to extreme measures—compromising our faith—to fit in and be popular. Having lots of friends isn’t everything. Even the King of kings only had 12 disciples. But for some reason, we start to believe that our worth decreases if we’re not the most popular kid in the school. We become insecure because we’re placing our identity in something unstable. Here are a few scriptures to help you battle your Popularity Identity Crisis. 1. Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This scripture clearly states that people who have a lot of friends will not thrive. The Bible wants us to know that we don’t need a lot of friends; we have the best possible friend in Jesus. And not only does He want to be our friend, he sticks closer than a brother. He is the only friend who will always be in your corner no matter what; through think and thin. He’s the only friend we need. 2. Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world… While this verse doesn’t have anything directly speaking about friends and popularity, it does reiterate what I said about compromising your values to fit in. Especially in high school, it can be easy to shove aside your beliefs in order to seem “cool” or become popular. But the Bible explicitly tells us that this is not the right thing to do. We’re called to be set apart from this world and be like Christ. The light and dark are not to be mixed. Again, this isn’t to say that we’re not allowed to be friends with unbelievers. I believe this is telling us that we’re not supposed to fall into their way of living. I realize that not pursuing popularity might be a knock on your pride, but that popularity isn’t worth it. You have the King of the world wanting to be your best friend. What more popularity do you need? Try to use these scriptures to help you see that your relationship with God is more important than any human relationship. Because as Mark 8:36 says: What do you benefit if you gain the whole world, yet forfeit your own soul? Hey everyone, after this post, I'm going to be taking a break for a little while. I'm just super busy right now and don't really have a lot of extra time in my day. Thanks for reading!
If you don’t have a boyfriend, am I right to assume that you wish you had one? It’s hard looking around me and seeing all the other girls my age with their boyfriends. I sometimes wish that I had a boyfriend. But at the same time, I don’t want a boyfriend. Because I don’t want to just get a boyfriend just because everyone else has one. I want to wait for the guy that God has for me. The point of dating isn’t to make sure you’re not sitting at home doing nothing every weekend. It’s not so you can go tell all your friends that your crush finally asked you out. The point of dating is to find the person you’re going to marry. If you currently have a boyfriend, I want you to ask yourself the following question: “would I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy?” If the answer is no, then why are you in a relationship with him? Just for fun? Just so you’ll have something to talk about with your friends when y’all hang out? Are those really valid reasons for wanting a boyfriend? I don’t think so. I read a lot of blogs and books directed to single girls, and one thing they all have in common is that they all state something along these lines, “Take a minute to truly look at yourself and ask yourself ‘am I ready for marriage right now?’ If the answer is no, then don’t date.” However, I can’t agree with that. I, at 14, am not ready to be married right at this exact second. But does that mean I’m not ready to date? Not necessarily. In my opinion, no one knows if they’re truly ready for marriage until they’re married. After all, there’s not a one-size-fits-all mold for what a “marriage ready” person is supposed to look like. While someone may be ready for marriage at age 19, another person might not be ready until they’re 35. It all depends on your spiritual and mental maturity level. There’s also not a “correct age” for dating. Once again, it depends on your spiritual and mental maturity level. If there’s someone you’re considering dating, or if you’re wondering if you’re ready to date, think about these three things. 1. Is Your Relationship With God Where It Should Be? If it’s not, then that’s a sure sign that you’re not ready to date. Work on your relationship with God before you try to start or continue your relationship with a guy. 2. Ask God For Advice There’s no one wiser than God. If you’re not sure whether or not you’re ready, ask your Heavenly Father. Then really listen to His answer. Don’t block out His voice just because you’re afraid that He’ll say no. Trust me, you’d rather be out of a relationship but in His will, than in a relationship but out of His will. 3. Talk To Your Parents Ask your parents if they think you’re ready. You may think that if they say no they’re just trying to ruin your life, but it’s not true. They just want the best for you. If they say that you’re not ready to have a boyfriend, respect them and their decision, and listen to their reason. Keep in mind that just because you have a good relationship with God and your parents think you’re ready for a relationship, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are ready. And if you have the green light on all three things we just talked about, ask God if the guy you’re wanting to date is the right one for you. Remember, the purpose of dating is to find your lifelong marriage partner. Keep these three things in mind when you’re wondering if you’re ready for a boyfriend. On Tuesday we talked about how when we get left out, it can sometimes leave us feeling worthless. Today I'm going to give you three things to remember when you're feeling worthless.
There are many different things that can cause us to feel worthless. People making fun of us, not making a sports team or cheerleading squad or getting a bad grade on a test, or maybe you’ve actually had people tell you that you’re worthless. But whatever your reason for feeling the way you do, you do have worth. When people tell you otherwise, or say things that make you think otherwise, that is Satan using those people to attack you. I’m sure just about everyone reading this has felt worthless some time in their life. But there are some people who feel it more than others, and that’s because Satan knows your weak spot and he’s using it to his advantage. When you’re feeling worthless, here are a few things to remember. 1. Your Worth Comes From God Alone No person could ever take away the worth that God has given you. No matter what you accomplish or don’t accomplish in life, it doesn’t give you or take away your worth. 2. Your Appearance Doesn’t Define Your Worth I know some girls that think that if they’re not beautiful in the eyes of their peers, then they’re not worth anything. They think that if they don’t have perfect skin, hair, eyes, teeth, and weight, then they’re worthless. But that’s just not true. As I said above, your worth comes from God alone. 3. You Have A Purpose To Fulfill Each and every person on earth has a specific plan for their life. [“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11] That scripture is a promise from God to us that we do have a purpose on this earth. And even if you think you’re not worthy enough to fulfill that purpose, God says that you are worthy enough or else that scripture wouldn’t be in the Bible. People will try to tell you that you’re worthless. Satan will try his absolute hardest to get you to believe it because he knows that if you believe it, you won’t believe that you can fulfill your Kingdom purpose. Do not let him deceive you. The Bible says that when Satan spouts off lies, he is speaking his native language because all he knows are lies. There is not one ounce of truth in Satan. He is the father of lies and he will do everything in his power to get you to believe his lies. But God’s power is so much stronger than Satan’s. And God has also given us the ability to say no to believing Satan’s lies and to hold on to God’s truth. Don’t allow Satan to deceive you. Trust in God when He says that you do have a purpose, and don’t let others define your worth. Your worth comes from God alone, and nothing and no one could ever take it away. Have you ever felt left out? I know I have. It's hard when everyone around you is engaging in conversation or activities and you're just there, being ignored. I know the struggle. Some of the thoughts that have flown through my head while being left out are, "They're not talking to me because I'm worthless. I'm not worth their time and energy so they talk to everyone else except me." If you've ever thought that, let me tell you right now that it's not true. Maybe people don't include you because you don't include yourself. I finally realized that the reason people don't talk to me isn't because I'm worthless or boring, it's because I don't engage myself in the conversation. While they talked, I just kinda stood there off to the side having my own little pity party because they were "ignoring me", when all I had to do was go stand beside them and start talking with them. As soon as I realized that, when my friends were having group conversations, I'd go over and make myself a part of the conversation. When I started doing that, guess what? They started talking to me and including me in the conversation! It turns out that my friends aren't jerks who don't want to spend time talking with me. It was all my fault that they didn't talk to me. But just because it worked out that way for me doesn't necessarily mean that it will work out that way for you. You might be asking, "Well what if I do go up and include myself, but they still ignore me?" I can't give you a reason for why they don't talk to you because I don't know them or you. But I can tell you that it's not because you're worthless. No matter how many people include or don't include you, you still have worth. Your worth is not found in things or people. Your worth is found in Jesus alone. He's the One who gave you your worth, and no one can take it away from you. No matter what people tell you, you aren't worthless. On Friday, I'll talk with you more about your worth and feeling worthless. If you're not being included, try to include and see if it changes anything.
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MissionIn short, I started this blog because I want to give girls all over the world hope. All of the topics I write about on this blog are things that I have struggled with or am still struggling with. I want to help young women everywhere achieve freedom through Christ. Archives
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